Grandma: Part 2

~Monday, February 11~

It felt good to sleep in this morning after such a long day of traveling yesterday. Dad and Aunt Debbie left early this morning for a meeting at the funeral home followed by a meeting at the church.

After I had eaten breakfast, I decided to help Dad by going through the house collecting any remaining medical supplies and medication that needed to be disposed of. I also spent about an hour on the phone trying to find places to take all the items I had collected (everything from prescription medication, oxygen tubing, expired over-the-counter drugs, assorted ointments, and more.) I had also gathered some of Grandpa’s winter clothing to donate as well.

All the stuff to be donated. I filled up a bag the size of the one filled with clothes on the floor, with medicines!

I had no idea how difficult it would be to find places to take the meds! I thought most any pharmacy would take them and dispose of them, but apparently that’s not the case. I called several pharmacies, one college, the courthouse, the county health department, the nursing home, and the city mission (about the clothes.) It was definitely stretching for someone who isn’t a big fan of talking with strangers over the phone!

Once I had finally figured out where we needed to go, I had to get driving directions. But unfortunately the wifi at the house got messed up, so we were using the iPad for our internet, and that only gets 1 bar at their house. And on top of that, I couldn’t print from it! So I had to write out a whole page of directions. Imagine! J

Then I finally called my Abuelo who had arrived in town the night before and asked him to take me to the pharmacy and the city mission to dispose of everything. He graciously took me to both places.

It was difficult driving by the nursing home so many times over the week. I so desperately wanted to stop, sign the guestbook, and walk down the long hallway to Grandma’s room. I wanted to walk in behind her wheel chair and give her a big hug and ask how she was feeling. I wanted to say hello to the security guard at the desk who had become a friend to us, and also our favorite nurse in the skilled care unit. But I couldn’t. There’s no Grandma there anymore, and it hurts.

That evening we had a big family dinner at the house. Our family, my Aunt and her family, my Abuela and Abuelo from Ohio, and my Dad’s 2 cousins from Virginia all came. We actually ended up with TWO dinners that night; the neighbor across the street brought over a huge dinner, and my Uncle’s Mom who lives in town brought us dinner as well. We put away the dinner brought over by the neighbor for another day and enjoyed the turkey, mashed potatoes, biscuits, veggies, and fruit salad brought over by my Uncle’s Mom.

The 5 girls crammed around the card table (that doesn’t have chairs) in the living room.

The grownups pulled a card table to make an extension of the dining room table so that all the adults could eat together.

The boys picnicked in the den with towels on the floor.

After dinner we talked a long time with the VA cousins. We rarely get to see them, and it was so good to visit with them. The evening ended in a tickle-war against Aunt Debbie. J It helps to have moments of laughter sprinkled throughout times of sadness.

Photo Credit: Roma.

~Tuesday, February 12~

This morning I got up early to go with Daddy to the church to drop off a CD with the powerpoint slideshow I had made in honor of Grandma. It was good to see Pastor D again. I only wish it was under different circumstances.

We quickly drove home because we had a couple coming in (realtors) to look at the house and talk about putting it on the market. They seem like a really nice couple, and they’re optimistic that the home will sell quickly at a realistic price.

Later that afternoon our cousin T arrived home from a little shopping spree. He had been saving his money for a long time and finally purchased a Browning lever action 30-06 rifle. It’s a pretty scary-looking machine.

Look at the size of the bullets!! That gun is meant for serious hunting. Thankfully T is very careful.

That afternoon we had the out-of-town family over again and had the meal that had been brought over by the neighbor across the street. The ham and potato salad were delicious, and we also had leftover fruit salad from the night before.

The lovely ladies (one of them may or may not have had too much ham . . . J [pun intended])

We decided to get some pictures with the cousins that afternoon. Our cousin B always has a way of making us laugh. Sometimes it’s hard to believe that he works at a funeral home. J

This is the good picture of our family. In the picture before this, I had spun around and made a face at my Aunt who had shot a rubber band at me. J

Photo Credit: Our Cousin M.

That evening we ate a light snack and freshened up for the viewing at the funeral home. When I walked into the funeral home was when it started to hit me pretty hard why we were here. In the past year, I have been to more viewings than I ever want to again.

We had arrived an hour early to the funeral home. Pastor D met us there with hugs and words of comfort. He has been a tremendous blessing to our family in this time, and God has truly knit our hearts together during these trials. I think one reason he has been such an extra blessing to us, is that he is a lot like my Grandpa. They are both tall in stature but gentle in nature. They both love singing and have a deep love for their Savior. While no one will ever replace my Grandpa’s place in our hearts, it was a gift from God to have someone so much like him to help us through the grieving process.

When all the immediate family had arrived, we proceeded into the funeral parlor for the private family viewing. Before I even had a chance to really look at Grandma, the tears started falling. The feelings of déjà vu were overwhelming. I just couldn’t believe that my other Grandparent was lying in a casket in front of me, all over again.

After we had a few minutes to take it in and cry, Pastor D gathered us all in a circle and prayed with us amidst his own tears. After that he left, and we waited for the viewing to officially start.

One of my Dad’s best friends and mentors who lives in PA sent this blanket in honor of Grandma. He lost his wife—who was quite young—back in July, so he knew very well what we were going through.

Everyone looking at the casket. The funeral home was very beautiful and peaceful. They do an excellent job.

We had received a few bouquets of flowers that were placed around the room. We received a bouquet from my Aunt and Uncle in Ohio, the nursing home where Grandma had lived, and from one of my Dad’s co-workers (pictured above.)

Dad and Aunt Debbie had picked out a beautiful spray of flowers for the top of the casket. The ribbons read “Loving Mom” and “Loving Grandma.” Grandma would have appreciated the variety of flowers in the arrangement.

Grandma looked so beautiful. Most of the time people don’t look like themselves at the viewing. But I can honestly say that Grandma looked like Grandma, only 10 years younger. Her body had been badly bruised because of the skin issues she had from taking the steroid medications, but the funeral home did an excellent job covering the bruises. They fixed her hair and makeup beautifully, just the way she would have dressed up to go out. The dress she is wearing is the same one she wore for my parents’ wedding 24 years ago, and the same one she had worn to Grandpa’s funeral. She looked so peaceful.

The viewing was very well attended by family friends, neighbors, and relatives. It was good to see so many familiar faces and so many people that didn’t know Grandma and Grandpa well but came for our sakes.

To be continued . . .