Moments For Sisters

Mount Vernon, VA, 5 years ago. I am right in the middle—

not only in this picture, but in birth order too.

~Posted by Rubia

 

The title of this post is taken from a book one of my sisters and I were given for our 12^th birthday, several years ago.

 

Most of you faithful blog readers know that there are 5 kids in this family, and in that 5 is a trio of girls! (Girls rule.)

 

I have been pondering lately about the relationships specifically between the three of us. What does it look like and what should it look like? Is it the same at home as it looks in public?

 

First off, I am thankful for my sisters. In fact, I am grateful for my whole family. I know that God intentionally hand-picked each family member. I know that He intentionally has us children in the birth order that we are in. Why do I believe that? Because He is sovereign. (Psalm 139:1-18.) And why might I believe that I am in the very middle? Here’s one practical reason: The experience with older siblings and younger siblings is exactly equal: 2 above me, and 2 under me. So, what? Well, I believe that God knew exactly what I was going to be like, and knew that I would need equal experience with siblings. I specifically needed to learn what it feels like to be a younger sibling, and also learn what it takes to be an older sibling.

My older sister Bianca (at age 4) holding me.

Self examination part 1: As a younger sister to an older sister: So how am I doing? I often think. This is not easy. How does it sometimes feel? I ask. Are hurt feelings or feelings of being bossed-around or less important ever my fault? My answer is actually yes!

 

I admire Bianca. She is a good daughter, sister, friend and student in her life. She is busy. She is ambitious. She is an avid reader. She is always learning. She is wise. She is passionate about being godly.

 

The question dawns on me: Do I think that maybe sometimes she has a hard time dealing with a younger sister (like me) who’s feisty, not always thoughtful, asks her for things, takes up her time, and takes over her bathroom? With her godliness and wisdom, she shouldn’t have an issue, but in spite of who I am, she might sometimes. (Guys, I’m not always sure what words describe me.)

 

What do I strive to practice and encourage other younger sisters to practice? Girls, let’s seek the Lord, and grow in being who HE is. Jesus was not a younger sister, but He was a sibling. We don’t know much of His childhood—only that He was perfect. Are we perfect? No. BUT when we have the Holy Spirit in us, we can daily become more like Christ. We can take on His characteristics. What is He like? He is everything that true love is. See 1 Corinthians chapter 13. I am memorizing it right now.

We blew it again. How much longer is time out?

Self examination part 2: As an older sister to a younger sister: I used to think that Roma and I only being 7 minutes apart did make a difference! J Now I believe that in maturity it doesn’t. Rather, the difference is in who we are. We are twins with obvious similarities, but we are also different people. People who make mistakes. People who love each other more than anyone else but also occasionally hurt each other, or even, believe it or not, misunderstand each other. Here’s one thing I’ve learned: I better not try to talk to her at 5:00 in the morning. I’m a morning gal, but even then my brain is not completely on and oftentimes, I end up saying the wrong words from my bed, which brings me grief later. (Unless both of us completely forget the conversation, since it was too early!)

 

Roma is a pure sweetheart. She is innocent, peaceful, and sensitive. She is my best friend above all others. Yet we are different. So sometimes I communicate with her in the wrong way. Sometimes my bad day spoils her good day. Sometimes the thoughts and feelings in my heart spoil her perfect cheerfulness and contentment.

 

What do I strive to practice and encourage other older sisters (or twins) to practice? Girls, be sensitive to your younger sisters’ (or twin sisters’) feelings. Be careful when communicating. Spend lots of time with her, but leave her alone when she needs it. Be enduring—be patient. Find her love language and demonstrate it to her with your best effort.

 

Jewish proverb: “Those who tease you, love you.”

(Left to right) Bianca, Roma, Rubia.

That proverb was one I took from the small book I mention called “Moments for Sisters” by Robert Strand. Great little read! Another amazing book I am working my way through is “Making Brothers and Sisters Your Best Friends” by Sarah, Stephen, and Grace Mally.

 

Q. What is a Parent’s dream for their children?

A. Of course, one would think, “Best friends!”

Q. Does that usually happen?

A. Well…..it’s a rare gem.

Q. But is that possible?

A. This blog post was meant to tell you, “Yes!!!”

Q. What do I believe to be one of the most powerful testimonies to one’s Christian faith?

A. The way he/she values/treats family! Why? Because the way he values his immediate family is the way he values his church family, which is the body of Christ. And if there is unity in the body of Christ, we can expect to be able to effectively communicate the Gospel.

 

Scripture references: Psalm 133:1; Prov. 11:24-25, 12:16; Prov. 14:26, 29-30; Prov. 15:23; Prov. 17:17; 1 Cor. 13; 1 Thess. 5:11; Matt. 5:7-9, 7:3, 20:26-28; Luke 23:34a.

 

Bible stories: Gen. 4; Gen. 27:41, chap. 33; Gen. 45; Matt. 18:21-35.