Trip to Houston

Back on February 1^st, Dad and I left for a whirlwind trip to Houston. Our purpose in going was to meet with the board members of “A Child’s Hope,” an organization that I will potentially be partnering with (to read more on that partnership, go here.) We left for Houston Friday night after work, which ended up being around 6:30 p.m.

Our trip certainly started off with a bang. Dad was talking with Mom on the phone as we were driving down our road in the dark. Just as he hung up, he slammed on the brakes because there were 2 deer in the road! We almost never see deer, so it was quite a surprise to nearly hit them! Thankfully we had no other near-run-ins during our drive.

Although the drive to Houston took us almost 6 hours, it seemed so short relative to the drives we’ve made to Pennsylvania and Ohio over the past couple of months. I was slack-jawed the whole time we drove through downtown Dallas. That city is HUGE! I was also amazed at the number of accidents and police officers we saw. I think in this one weekend, between Dallas and Houston, I saw more police cars on the side of the road for accidents and traffic stops than I have in the last 6 months! While both cities are beautiful, I am perfectly happy living in the middle of nowhere. I could never get used to the amount of traffic.

*Disclaimer: I feel like I should apologize for the next four pictures. I was a little lazy while we traveled and took pictures with my iPod instead of my camera. They definitely didn’t turn out great, but there are just moments when I don’t feel like lugging a big camera around.*

Around 8:00 p.m., we stopped to get some dinner at Church’s Chicken. The chicken and biscuit was pretty good, but I’ve certainly had better.

Around 10:00 p.m., we stopped in the middle of nowhere because we saw a sign advertising Dr. Pepper slushies (driving late at night, we were both struggling to stay awake and something cold sounded like just the right thing to wake us up.) The place we stopped at—“Buc-ee’s”—was HUGE and busy for that time of night! It has 32 gas pumps, and a huge store inside. They had just about everything a traveler could want in there, and it was decorated very attractively for a gas station.

Again, another blurry picture because I felt a little ridiculous taking a picture of a jeweled longhorn skull in the women’s bathroom. J Is it just me, or would you have taken a picture too? Please tell me I’m not the only one who does stuff like that! J

The Dr. Pepper slushie certainly helped wake us up (and excuse my hand in the picture. It is definitely NOT that red, but the Instagram filter did that.)

 Alright, now that you’ve suffered through those 4 pictures we can move on. J Dad and I got to our hotel around 12:00 a.m. and got to bed around 1:00 a.m. The next morning, Dad got up at 7:30 a.m. to go running. I slept in, which felt a little strange because normally I’m the one getting up early to run. I got up and got ready shortly after that.

We left our hotel around 9:30 a.m. to head for the home where the meeting was being held. The weather was absolutely beautiful that day! I think it got up to around 76 or 77 degrees. That was enough to make this thick-blooded northerner wish she had worn a T-shirt! J

The home where we had the meeting was absolutely beautiful (the President of “A Child’s Hope” owns it.) I felt so welcomed by the other board members and was quickly put at ease.

We enjoyed a delicious brunch which we took outside. We ate by their stone fireplace as we discussed our organizations and their respective visions.

Dad and I with some of the board members.

We finished up at their house around 12:00 p.m. Dad and I went to get the car washed and had the oil changed. Next, we headed over to one of the local churches. The Pastor of our church in Michigan had taken on a new church in Houston back in June. When our family moved to Texas, we knew we had to get together since we lived that much closer to each other!

So we were thrilled to visit with Pastor R and his oldest son, R. We met them at the church and Pastor gave us the grand tour.

After that, we went out to a local barbeque restaurant. The food was really good, and the fellowship even better! J We were disappointed that the rest of our families couldn’t be there, but hopefully both families will all get together soon.

R and I enjoying lunch.

When I told Dad and Pastor to smile for a picture, I got pretty lame smiles. I made a joke about it, and that made them both laugh. J

Dad and I left Houston around 4:00 p.m. and got back home around 10:30 p.m. that evening after a few stops along the way. It was much harder staying up that night as opposed to the day before. I think it was because we had such a long and full day! Full stomachs may have had something to do with that as well . . . J

Our trip to Houston went very well and I’m so glad we had the opportunity to go!

My "Father-in-Love"

~Posted by Betsy (Tribute written to share at the funeral)

Dearest Father-in-Love:

You and I have been friends for almost 28 years. For 24 of those, you have been my favorite--and my only--"father-in-love." In that time, we have built countless memories together. You have seen me go from young, eager girlfriend to your only son, to young, naive wife, to young, super-busy mom of 5 young ones, all the way to now not-so-young wife and mother. Through all that growth and development, you have loved me like your own precious daughter.

I cannot begin to express what you have meant to me. You had so many wonderful Christian qualities; exhibited so many of the fruits of the Spirit. Without any proactive teaching on your part, I have learned so much from your quiet, humble example. From you I learned that "meek" is not "weak." I learned what it really looked like for a man to be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry. I learned what it meant to persevere under trial, for oh how many trials you have had! You showed me a living picture of unswerving, unconditional, till-death-do-us-part devotion to your wife.

You had a way of demonstrating love in every little thing you did. I love that you would send me emails with funny things you'd read, or beautiful photos you knew I'd enjoy, or stories that touched your heart and you wanted to share with me. I love that you could relate to each one of our children, knew their strengths and interests individually, and could enter into their passions with them. I love that you baked your special fudge for us every Christmas, and always made sure that sponge candy was in Mark's and my Christmas stocking. I love that you and Mark spoke faithfully on the phone every Sunday night. I loved that you read your Bible every morning, sitting on the mauve easy chair in your living room, or on the enclosed porch in nicer weather. I loved that you and R still enjoyed drinking coffee with me in the mornings when we visited. Lots of people don't drink coffee anymore, you know.

I loved how excited you would get about singing in the Christmas program at church for so many years. I loved that you loved jazz and Big Band music, like I do. I loved that you rode a rollercoaster with Ben that was too wild for me, and that you and R eagerly rode in Dad's plane with him. I loved that you never lost your southern drawl, nor your southern manners, nor your love for grits.

Most of all, I love that even though you are gone from here, you are very much alive!! To be honest, grandpa, I'm a little jealous of you. You are exactly where my soul so often longs to be. Because of that, right next to my sorrow, there is joy. I am thrilled that you are singing again...that you are breathing in aromas you've never experienced before...that you are moving effortlessly through time and space. I rejoice that you are face to face with the One who made this inheritance possible.

You have left behind a priceless legacy: a wife who adored you for 57 years; and two children who honored you with all of their hearts, who have faithfully served The Lord you serve, and who are even now passing that same legacy on to your grandchildren.

We love you, Grandpa, and we will see you again by and by!

"Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him." (James 1:10)

Mom's Birthday

Back in January, Mom celebrated a very special birthday. While her age shall remain unknown, I can guarantee she doesn’t look as old as she is! J

 

Despite the fact that we had just returned home from Pennsylvania a few nights before, we tried to make her birthday as special as we could under the circumstances. Early on the morning of her birthday, we kids continued our tradition of making her breakfast in bed. We made enough cinnamon rolls so that everyone could enjoy some. J

 

That evening, we took Mom out to dinner. It was Dad’s job to pick out the restaurant. I will be very honest in admitting that at first I wasn’t all that thrilled when we drove up to the place he picked out. The catfish restaurant (that the rest of us had never been to before) wasn’t fancy at all. It didn’t seem quite appropriate for the occasion.

 

But by the end of the evening, I had completely changed my mind! Despite the casual atmosphere, the food was incredible! Mom couldn’t stop raving about it, and the rest of us all loved it. Never judge a restaurant by its appearance!

 

The birthday girl at the restaurant.

Dad ordered fried jalapenos and mozzarella sticks as an appetizer. I enjoyed their country-style lemonade (don’t ask me what makes it “country.”) Country or not, it was definitely southern-style. It was much lighter on the lemon and heavy on the sugar!

 

For dinner most of us had the ½ sized dinner. It included two HUGE catfish fillets and two sides. I had the black-eyed peas, and old fashioned ham and potato salad. It was delicious, but I regretted getting the ½ size. I only ate half the meal, so next time we go I’ll be sure to order the ¼ size!

After we ate, Dad suggested that we stop at one of the western outfitters stores nearby. His gift to Mom had been “permission” to purchase cowboy boots. J So we went over there just to browse.

 

The $400 jacket stayed at the store, but Mom did end up purchasing the boots she’s wearing in the pictures. They are really cute Ariat boots, and the rest of us are just slightly envious that she was the first one in our family to get true cowboy boots. J

Photo Credit: Roma.

After our shopping, we returned home and Mom opened her gifts. The boys gave her a Bed, Bath & Beyond gift card so she could purchase a new waffle iron (ours bit the dust after 23 years) and a new coffee grinder. Roma and Rubia gave her a gift card to Bath & Body works so that she could stock up on her favorite lotions and sprays.

 

I gave her a big container of Whoppers, one of her favorite candies. I had also worked on 2 gifts that were from many people, but I had done a lot of the behind-the-scenes work on preparing the two gifts.

 

The first was a framed document. On it was written “Blessings of Betsy” that all of us came up with. Mom is such a blessing to us all and we wanted to express that.

I had also sent out a letter (unknown to Mom) to her friends and family. Mom’s love language is words of affirmation. I asked our friends and relatives to write Mom a note or a letter, expressing words of affirmation for her. We had a great response from people, and Mom *LOVES* the book.

Following the presents, we had her birthday cake (Chocolate Turtle Cake.) I had no idea where she had put the birthday candles, so we put votive lights on the cake. J It still tasted just as good!

Photo Credit: Roma.

And that was Mom’s birthday in a nutshell! We are so grateful for her and the ways she blesses us. We hope to celebrate many more birthdays with her!

 

Grandpa: Part 6

~Wednesday, January 23~

 

Today Dad was gone most of the day running around town getting things taken care of to make sure that all the bills get paid on time, certain services were stopped, etc. The rest of us stayed at home and rested after all the activity. We started to clean things up a bit, as the house had gotten a little chaotic with all the funeral prep, searching for documents, shredding documents, pulling out clothes, going through pictures, and more. We tried to finish up laundry and prepare to leave early the next morning.

 

That evening we went to the nursing home to visit Grandma one last time. It’s difficult leaving her after such a huge change. The thought of her being apart from family is heart-breaking, but we’re kind of stuck. Her health is too frail for her to travel and live closer to one of her kids, and the kids have jobs in other states they have to tend to. Dad and Aunt Debbie plan to fly up once a month to visit Grandma and continue going through the things at the house.

 

When we arrived, we chatted for quite awhile with the security officer at the front desk. He’s been working there almost every time we’ve come to visit since Grandma moved there in April, so we’ve gotten to know him a little better along with some of the orderlies. After chatting about our travel plans, we went back to the dining hall to see Grandma.

 

We helped her cut things up on her plate and made sure that she ate a reasonable amount of food.

Photo Credit: Roma.

Some of the pictures we had put up in her display box had fallen down because the tape wasn’t holding it up enough. So we put a few thumb-tacks in before we left.

Photo Credit: Roma.

~Thursday, January 24~

 

The next morning we left a little later than we had intended (around 8:30 a.m.) It took us a long time to go through the house and make sure we left everything neat and picked up since there’s no one there to do that anymore. I had to snap an Instagram picture of the birdfeeder. That’s how much snow we had received!

Before we left we gathered around to pray in the dining room. That choked some of us up, because Grandpa always prayed for us before we left. The most difficult part was driving down his street. Several of us started crying because of the memories. He would always come out to the garage and wave at us as we drove away. Dad tooted the horn, even though there was no Grandpa waving at us.



The sun started to peek out as we drove. It was a beautiful reminder that God is always with us.

That afternoon we made a special stop for lunch. When Mom and Dad were first married, they lived in southern Ohio. They often reminisced about a dairy they used to visit when they lived there. We had talked about stopping and eating there when we would travel through that town, but somehow we never drove through during mealtime. But since we had left late that day, we rolled into town right around lunch time.

 

The food at the dairy was delicious! Several of us enjoyed cheeseburgers. I decided to try their specialty item: fried cheese curds. While I’m sure they weren’t the healthiest choice, they were definitely good. And after all, if you’ve waited for years to go to a specific restaurant, you HAVE to try their signature item, right? Right!

And of course if you go to a dairy, you have to have ice cream. J

Happy cows.

We arrived at our hotel that night pretty late because we stopped at Panera bread for dinner. When we had been going through Grandpa’s personal effects, we found a stack of gift cards that we had given Grandpa, that he had never used (we gave him gift cards on special occasions so that he could go out to eat and not have to cook as much.) Apparently his favorite restaurant was the local restaurant that we couldn’t get gift cards for, so he never used these. So we used some of them when we stopped to eat.

 

~Friday, January 25~

 

The next morning we left earlier after eating breakfast at the hotel. I was so tired after getting up early so many times, that as soon as we got in the car, I conked out. Normally I’m half-awake when I snooze, but I was REALLY asleep.

 

I was sleeping so soundly that I missed the arch in St. Louis. Oh well. J

Photo Credit: Roma.

We stopped at an Applebee’s for lunch. Normally we wouldn’t go to a sit-down restaurant when we’re traveling, but since we had gift cards we decided to go there. Despite the cold temps, Roma and I tried their frozen strawberry lemonade. Definitely recommend it!

Photo Credit: Roma.

The twins enjoying their lunch.

Unfortunately that stop delayed us by a couple of hours. We didn’t make it home until REALLY late that night. Thankfully it was a Friday, so we slept in the next morning.

 

I have a habit of listening to a song on my iPod just before I go to bed. That night I listened to “Save a Place for Me” by Matthew West. I broke down again, partly because of the grief and partly as a release of all the stress that had been present throughout the prior two weeks. Grandpa’s absence will mean a lot of adjustments. It hit me that I’ll never hear his voice on the other end of the phone on my birthday. I miss him so much.

 

~Saturday, January 26~

 

The next morning we were pleasantly surprised to receive a bouquet of flowers from friends. Our mailbox was flooded with sympathy cards and several neighbors brought food over for our family.



The neighbor that watched our cats brought over lunch that day, which was completely unexpected since she had already done so much for us. She and her 90-year-old mother brought over a delicious taco salad, fried chicken, fried okra, and peach cobbler. Now that’s true southern comfort food!

~Epilogue~

 

While we are slowly transitioning back into a new normal, there is still an emptiness in our hearts. The full realization that Grandpa is gone will sink in slowly over time. There will be distinct moments when his absence will hit hard. My Dad will be reminded every Sunday. He talked with Grandpa on the phone every Sunday night for as long as I can remember. Mom won’t be able to fix coffee for her “Father-in-love.” I won’t get to cuddle up next to him on the couch as we lament how cold we always are. Ben will not be able to call Grandpa on Veteran’s day, as he always did. Rubia and Roma won’t be able to write him letters. Josiah won’t be able to ask Grandpa questions about guns and his time in Korea.

 

We’re all going to miss him, and the grieving process will take a long time. But we grieve with hope. We trust that our God is faithful and that He keeps all His promises. He will keep the promise He made in John 14:2, “In my Father’s house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you.” He will keep the promise He made in 2 Corinthians 1:3-4, “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.”

 

We want to thank all of you for your notes, cards, emails, comments, flowers, meals, prayers, and support. They mean so much to us. We are incredibly blessed by God!

 

Peace and Rest

 

“The righteous perish,

and no one ponders it in his heart;

devout men are taken away,

and no one understands

that the righteous are taken away

to be spared from evil.

Those who walk uprightly

enter into peace;

they find rest as they lie in death.”

 

Isaiah 57:1-2

Recipe--Chocolate Turtle Cake

My Mom celebrated a birthday in the month of January. One of her favorite cakes (that we’ve made for her birthday for several years in a row now) is Chocolate Turtle Cake. This cake is delicious served slightly warm with a scoop of vanilla ice cream on top. It’s pretty rich, but just about right for a birthday celebration. J

 

Chocolate Turtle Cake

 

1 box (18-19 oz) German chocolate cake mix

1 bag (14 oz) caramels, unwrapped

1 small can (5 oz) evaporated milk

2 Tablespoons butter

1 bag (12 oz) semi-sweet chocolate chips

1 Cup chopped pecans

 

Preheat oven to 350°F. Prepare cake mix according to package directions. Pour half of batter into greased 9 x 13 inch pan. Bake for 15 minutes. While cake is baking, melt caramels with milk and butter, stirring until smooth. Slowly pour caramel mixture over partially baked cake. Spread evenly. Sprinkle chocolate chips and ½ cup of pecans over caramel mixture.

 

Pour remaining cake batter over top, spreading evenly. Sprinkle with remaining pecans. Bake for 30 minutes or until center is set. Cool before slicing. Serves 12-16.

 

Grandpa: Part 5

~Tuesday, January 22~

 

This morning we braved the bad weather so my Grandparents from Ohio could take us out to Bob Evans for breakfast. What Mom didn’t know was that it was in honor of the birthday she celebrated in January. Since we no longer live a mere 3 hours away, we won’t get to see our grandparents as often for birthdays. Our unexpected trip to Pennsylvania provided us with an opportunity to still celebrate with them.

 

The lovely twins waiting for breakfast to arrive.

The boys.

The restaurant was very quiet since it was a weekday morning and the weather was so poor. We had invited Cousin E to join us for breakfast, but unfortunately due to the bad weather, he decided to head back home. L We kids were so disappointed that we didn’t get to say goodbye. But hopefully we’ll get to see him again soon!

 

We had a table in the back of the restaurant, so we enjoyed a leisurely brunch and talked quite a bit about the past day’s events.

 

After we had finished eating, my Abuela pulled out my Mom’s birthday presents and explained that we were celebrating!

After Mom had finished opening her gifts, we pulled out the laptop and watched the slideshow of my Grandpa from the funeral. At the church, they had a compatibility issue with some of the music I had selected for the slideshow. Two of the three songs wouldn’t work, so they ended up playing a shortened version of the show. Although I was disappointed that it didn’t work, I was glad that we had the full length version for the family to see.

Later that afternoon we went over to the nursing home to see Grandma. While we were visiting with her in the lounge, Pastor D came over to bring the flowers from the funeral. It was good to see him again and we appreciated his visit.

Visiting with Grandma was a little bit difficult. When Pastor D came, she talked a little bit about the funeral, so we thought she remembered it. Later on we were talking about birdfeeders. It was always Grandpa’s job to keep their feeders at home filled. She saw all the snow outside and told us to make sure that Grandpa didn’t slip when he filled up the feeders. Later on she asked where he was.

 

That question made a few of us choke up. Dad gently explained what happened again. It’s almost like Grandpa dies again every time we have to explain it to her. Imagine having to tell your parent every time you see them that their spouse of 57 years is gone, and will never be coming to visit again. It’s a horrible feeling.

 

Our cousins had brought their 2 Bernese Mountain dogs with them on the trip. They thought Grandma might enjoy meeting one of them. My Uncle asked the folks at the front desk about it, and they said they would look the other way while he brought Oliver in. J We really appreciated them allowing that! For being such a huge dog, Oliver is extremely well behaved and did great. We were a little nervous allowing him up close to Grandma because one of his paws against her delicate skin would tear it pretty badly. But he was very calm and let her pet him.

Dad and Aunt Debbie loving on Grandma.

We left after awhile so that Grandma could take an afternoon nap. We went back to the house and continued to go through their things. It’s one of the tasks that’s happy and sad at the same time. We have discovered lots of treasures and articles related to our family history, but it’s also difficult going through things like personal effects, clothes, etc.

Later that afternoon Grandma and Grandpa’s cleaning lady dropped in. She has been cleaning their house for the past 16 years and has become a close friend of the family. I think she is truly going to miss cleaning for Grandma and Grandpa. We are so grateful for her faithful service to them, and all the extra things she did for Grandpa over the past few months. We talked with her for quite awhile while Aunt Debbie and Rubia labeled some clothes they were going to take over to the nursing home for Grandma.

Meanwhile, some of the other kids played outside in the snow. I had to laugh at Josiah a little bit. He somehow lost his hat and gloves, so he borrowed Grandpa’s balaclava and my pink gloves. J At least he stayed warm!

That evening we had leftovers for dinner and our cousins left to start driving back to Florida. It was sad having an empty house.

 

 

To be continued . . .