Grandma: Part 4

~Thursday, February 14~

As I mentioned yesterday, we had some issues come up following Grandma’s death. These are matters that we prefer to keep private, but I wanted to try to blog around them, if you will, so that you get an idea of what happened the rest of the week following Grandma’s death.

On Thursday morning Mom woke me up early to go with Dad to return our rental car and pick up the Budget truck we had reserved to transport the things we were taking from Grandma and Grandpa’s house.

When we got back home, I quickly ate a muffin and we began packing up the things we wanted to take. Dad was supposed to have a meeting with a lawyer that morning but that ended up getting cancelled.

Instead, we ran some other errands and then went over to Burger King. I had eaten a few pieces of the leftover ham as “lunch” so just got a smoothie. My appetite was pretty low from all that was going on.

After that we went to the hardware store to pick up some kits to change the locks at Grandma and Grandpa’s house. Their locks were all original (the house was built in the 50’s) so they didn’t all work well. Unfortunately the locks and doors aren’t standard, so the locks we had purchased wouldn’t work. And we accidently broke the old lock taking it out. L So we had to call a locksmith.

After that, we loaded up our things from the house and ran a few more errands. We finished after 9:00 p.m. and we still hadn’t eaten dinner. Dad and Ben went out to get pizza and breadsticks.

I don’t think we all made it to bed until after midnight. It had been a very long and difficult day, but we were thankful for God’s promises, especially that He is always with us and never forsakes us.

~Friday, February 15~

Friday afternoon Dad was scheduled to have a meeting with another lawyer. But once again, that meeting did not work out.

So in the morning, we ate breakfast out, then headed back towards the house to do a final walk-through and say goodbye to the place where—in a way—we all had grown up. On our way we ran into my Dad’s sister and her family. They were also on their way to the house. They decided to drive around and come back after we did our walk-through, to load up their things.

I am going to miss this place so much. My memories of time spent here are innumerable. It has been one of the only constant places present in my life so far.

The back porch with the glider.

The backyard, where we kids spent many hours playing games, catching fireflies, and shooting off small fireworks on the 4^th of July.

When my cousins came back, we all said our goodbyes outside. I’m not really sure when I’ll see them again, so it was rough.

Photo Credit: Roma.

After saying our goodbyes, we left town and headed for my Grandparents’ house in Ohio to spend the night.

We all enjoyed seeing the other side of the family, but Josiah in particular was excited for the opportunity to see his cousins.

We ate a delicious dinner fixed by my Abuela and enjoyed fellowshipping with our family. We fell into bed, exhausted , late that night.

To be continued . . .

Grandma: Part 3

~Wednesday, February 13~

This day is one that I wish I could forget. A part of me is bruised from all the pain. I don’t want to feel it anymore. My natural instinct is to shut down emotionally. But God is allowing me to go through all of this pain for a reason. I cling to the promise found in James 1:2-3, “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.” It’s ok to hurt, to cry, and to grieve. But in the end, I must CHOOSE hope and joy.

We arrived at the church around 9:00 a.m. The viewing didn’t start until 10:00 a.m., but we needed to do a few things to prepare for the service.

Grandma’s body hadn’t arrived from the funeral home yet, but as I stood in the corner where she would be placed, I couldn’t keep the tears back. My mind played the phrase “She was just here” over and over again, like a broken record. How could she be here three weeks ago, alive, and then be in the exact same place today in her casket?

Folks started arriving for the viewing around 10:00 a.m. They played the slideshow I had made during the viewing. Here, Dad and his two cousins from VA watch the video together.

Part way through the viewing, my stomach started to growl loudly. We had eaten a light breakfast really early that morning, and I was unsure whether or not I was going to make it through the service without my stomach growling the whole time. Some of the girls and I decided to ask the kitchen committee—who were preparing things for the luncheon—if they had any crackers or something we could nibble on. They were so gracious and kind to us! They took us back in the kitchen where they had muffins, cinnamon rolls, and orange juice. We were so grateful!

A lot of church friends, neighbors, and out-of-town guests came out for the viewing and funeral service. While Pastor N—the Worship Pastor—played “Marching to Zion” on the piano (one of Grandma’s favorite songs), the family had a few private minutes before entering the service. Pastor D prayed with us, and we proceeded into the sanctuary.

Pastor D started off the service by praying, sharing some scripture passages, and leading us in singing “Shall We Gather at the River,” another favorite song of Grandma’s.

Following that, we all shared the letters and tributes we had written for Grandma. It was pretty hard at times because the last time we stood at that podium to speak, Grandma was right there listening, sitting in her wheelchair by the second pew.

Grandma mentioned my piano-playing several times after she went to live at the nursing home. I had planned to bring a few of my books the next time we visited so I could play some songs for her. Instead, I played “Great is Thy Faithfulness” at her funeral. It’s one of the few regrets I have: that I didn’t play for her sooner.

Pastor D shared a few words about Grandma before concluding the service by leading us in singing “When We All Get to Heaven.” How I am looking forward to that day!

It was very hard to watch them wheel Grandma out of the church. The last time she crossed that hall, she was living. Yet in a sense, she is more alive now than she has ever been before. How thankful I am for that hope.

The luncheon following the service was once again, beautifully done. They had the same menu from Grandpa’s funeral, but that didn’t bother us at all. We were so filled with gratitude for all the congregation did to help our family.

Despite the solemn attitude of the day, there were brief moments of relief. I was actually a little bit bossy during lunch (shocking, I know!) Most of the family had gone through the food line and went to sit down. Somehow our two cousins ended up at a table all by themselves on the other side of the room. That just didn’t go over well with me. J I went over there and made some joke about excommunication, and then strongly urged (ok, ordered) them to come sit with us. J

Over lunch I had the opportunity to talk with the cousins, my Abuela and Abuelo, Pastor D, and Pastor N. Pastor N has been to Haiti before, so that was mostly what we talked about. All the fellowship that occurred made me think of Grandma. She would have loved being surrounded by so many friends and family that she hadn’t seen in a long time. She was always in her element amongst a crowd.

Sadly we had to say our goodbyes in order to go have the graveside service. God blessed us with a beautiful day. The sun shone bright and clear, and the temperatures were far warmer than they were the last time we were at the cemetery.

Being at the graveside in the exact same spot where we buried Grandpa was difficult. The dirt around his grave was still fresh.

After Pastor D had said a few words and prayed with us, he shared some personal words with our family. I know I have said it countless times before, but he was such a blessing to us through all of this. ‘Though we may not see him again on this earth, we can look forward to an eternity of rejoicing together with all believers in heaven one day.

We traipsed through the mud and slush to go back and see Grandma and Grandpa’s grave. The spot they picked was absolutely beautiful.

Before we left the cemetery, we said our goodbyes to the Virginia cousins who were returning home that day. There were many rounds of hugs as well as a final prayer-time together for travel safety. We are so thankful that they could come, because we were really blessed by their presence there.

That afternoon, we returned to Grandma and Grandpa’s house and tried to unwind. Mom and I went on a walk while the others continued to go through Grandma and Grandpa’s things at the house.

That evening we went out to Grandma and Grandpa’s favorite local restaurant to celebrate a worthy achievement by Roma. That very morning, she had finished reading through her Bible (the first time all the way through) in one year.

Everyone enjoying their dinner at the restaurant.

Photo Credit: Our waitress.

At dinner was when all the emotions started catching up with me. I kept thinking about the times we had joined Grandpa at the restaurant following a visit with Grandma at the nursing home.

When we got back home, I slipped out onto the dark screened porch and sat down on the glider. The tears and sobs came flooding out. How many times had I sat out there with Grandma and Grandpa on a warm summer afternoon, talking, rocking, and watching the birds outside the window? I remembered the cool summer evenings when I would sit on the glider beside Grandma with the space heater at our feet, listening to the trains on the tracks behind their house. I cried at the realization that I would never do those things again.

After all that stress-release, I went inside and started going through the box of cards and letters that Grandma had saved over the years. We ended up going to bed pretty late that night, but exhausted from the long day.

*The remaining posts about the events following Grandma’s death will be a bit vague, purposely. I can’t share all the details, but there were some serious issues that came up that we had to deal with. These events changed a lot of our plans for the week. I appreciate your understanding in our desire to keep these matters private. But please do pray for a quick settlement of Grandma and Grandpa’s estate and all the details surrounding it.*

To be continued . . .

Grandma: Part 2

~Monday, February 11~

It felt good to sleep in this morning after such a long day of traveling yesterday. Dad and Aunt Debbie left early this morning for a meeting at the funeral home followed by a meeting at the church.

After I had eaten breakfast, I decided to help Dad by going through the house collecting any remaining medical supplies and medication that needed to be disposed of. I also spent about an hour on the phone trying to find places to take all the items I had collected (everything from prescription medication, oxygen tubing, expired over-the-counter drugs, assorted ointments, and more.) I had also gathered some of Grandpa’s winter clothing to donate as well.

All the stuff to be donated. I filled up a bag the size of the one filled with clothes on the floor, with medicines!

I had no idea how difficult it would be to find places to take the meds! I thought most any pharmacy would take them and dispose of them, but apparently that’s not the case. I called several pharmacies, one college, the courthouse, the county health department, the nursing home, and the city mission (about the clothes.) It was definitely stretching for someone who isn’t a big fan of talking with strangers over the phone!

Once I had finally figured out where we needed to go, I had to get driving directions. But unfortunately the wifi at the house got messed up, so we were using the iPad for our internet, and that only gets 1 bar at their house. And on top of that, I couldn’t print from it! So I had to write out a whole page of directions. Imagine! J

Then I finally called my Abuelo who had arrived in town the night before and asked him to take me to the pharmacy and the city mission to dispose of everything. He graciously took me to both places.

It was difficult driving by the nursing home so many times over the week. I so desperately wanted to stop, sign the guestbook, and walk down the long hallway to Grandma’s room. I wanted to walk in behind her wheel chair and give her a big hug and ask how she was feeling. I wanted to say hello to the security guard at the desk who had become a friend to us, and also our favorite nurse in the skilled care unit. But I couldn’t. There’s no Grandma there anymore, and it hurts.

That evening we had a big family dinner at the house. Our family, my Aunt and her family, my Abuela and Abuelo from Ohio, and my Dad’s 2 cousins from Virginia all came. We actually ended up with TWO dinners that night; the neighbor across the street brought over a huge dinner, and my Uncle’s Mom who lives in town brought us dinner as well. We put away the dinner brought over by the neighbor for another day and enjoyed the turkey, mashed potatoes, biscuits, veggies, and fruit salad brought over by my Uncle’s Mom.

The 5 girls crammed around the card table (that doesn’t have chairs) in the living room.

The grownups pulled a card table to make an extension of the dining room table so that all the adults could eat together.

The boys picnicked in the den with towels on the floor.

After dinner we talked a long time with the VA cousins. We rarely get to see them, and it was so good to visit with them. The evening ended in a tickle-war against Aunt Debbie. J It helps to have moments of laughter sprinkled throughout times of sadness.

Photo Credit: Roma.

~Tuesday, February 12~

This morning I got up early to go with Daddy to the church to drop off a CD with the powerpoint slideshow I had made in honor of Grandma. It was good to see Pastor D again. I only wish it was under different circumstances.

We quickly drove home because we had a couple coming in (realtors) to look at the house and talk about putting it on the market. They seem like a really nice couple, and they’re optimistic that the home will sell quickly at a realistic price.

Later that afternoon our cousin T arrived home from a little shopping spree. He had been saving his money for a long time and finally purchased a Browning lever action 30-06 rifle. It’s a pretty scary-looking machine.

Look at the size of the bullets!! That gun is meant for serious hunting. Thankfully T is very careful.

That afternoon we had the out-of-town family over again and had the meal that had been brought over by the neighbor across the street. The ham and potato salad were delicious, and we also had leftover fruit salad from the night before.

The lovely ladies (one of them may or may not have had too much ham . . . J [pun intended])

We decided to get some pictures with the cousins that afternoon. Our cousin B always has a way of making us laugh. Sometimes it’s hard to believe that he works at a funeral home. J

This is the good picture of our family. In the picture before this, I had spun around and made a face at my Aunt who had shot a rubber band at me. J

Photo Credit: Our Cousin M.

That evening we ate a light snack and freshened up for the viewing at the funeral home. When I walked into the funeral home was when it started to hit me pretty hard why we were here. In the past year, I have been to more viewings than I ever want to again.

We had arrived an hour early to the funeral home. Pastor D met us there with hugs and words of comfort. He has been a tremendous blessing to our family in this time, and God has truly knit our hearts together during these trials. I think one reason he has been such an extra blessing to us, is that he is a lot like my Grandpa. They are both tall in stature but gentle in nature. They both love singing and have a deep love for their Savior. While no one will ever replace my Grandpa’s place in our hearts, it was a gift from God to have someone so much like him to help us through the grieving process.

When all the immediate family had arrived, we proceeded into the funeral parlor for the private family viewing. Before I even had a chance to really look at Grandma, the tears started falling. The feelings of déjà vu were overwhelming. I just couldn’t believe that my other Grandparent was lying in a casket in front of me, all over again.

After we had a few minutes to take it in and cry, Pastor D gathered us all in a circle and prayed with us amidst his own tears. After that he left, and we waited for the viewing to officially start.

One of my Dad’s best friends and mentors who lives in PA sent this blanket in honor of Grandma. He lost his wife—who was quite young—back in July, so he knew very well what we were going through.

Everyone looking at the casket. The funeral home was very beautiful and peaceful. They do an excellent job.

We had received a few bouquets of flowers that were placed around the room. We received a bouquet from my Aunt and Uncle in Ohio, the nursing home where Grandma had lived, and from one of my Dad’s co-workers (pictured above.)

Dad and Aunt Debbie had picked out a beautiful spray of flowers for the top of the casket. The ribbons read “Loving Mom” and “Loving Grandma.” Grandma would have appreciated the variety of flowers in the arrangement.

Grandma looked so beautiful. Most of the time people don’t look like themselves at the viewing. But I can honestly say that Grandma looked like Grandma, only 10 years younger. Her body had been badly bruised because of the skin issues she had from taking the steroid medications, but the funeral home did an excellent job covering the bruises. They fixed her hair and makeup beautifully, just the way she would have dressed up to go out. The dress she is wearing is the same one she wore for my parents’ wedding 24 years ago, and the same one she had worn to Grandpa’s funeral. She looked so peaceful.

The viewing was very well attended by family friends, neighbors, and relatives. It was good to see so many familiar faces and so many people that didn’t know Grandma and Grandpa well but came for our sakes.

To be continued . . .

Grandma, Part 1

My reaction to my Grandma’s death was very similar to what others have expressed: speechlessness. A part of me just feels numb from the pain of losing both Grandparents just 3 weeks apart. I am again reminded of how insensitive I have been towards others in the past. I used to think that if a person was sick and you knew they were going to die soon, that it somehow was easier to lose them.

But I was again, so wrong. We had been preparing ourselves to lose Grandma for the past several years, but that still didn’t lessen the pain of losing her. Writing these posts is going to be very difficult for me, and probably hard to read as well. We don’t believe in putting up facades, but rather try to post about the way things are. Life includes times of brokenness and beauty, joy and pain, peace and turmoil.

Before I talk about her actual death and the events following that, we have to go back about 16 years for some background on Grandma . . .

Back in 1997, Grandma was diagnosed with acute emphysema after she finally admitted to getting winded quite often. She had been a heavy smoker since she was 12 years old (she grew up on a tobacco farm) and that bad habit had finally caught up with her. The doctor gave her 2 or 3 more years to live if she continued smoking, and 5 or 6 more years if she quit. She quit cold-turkey.

Over time, her breathing continued to deteriorate slowly. Simple tasks like climbing a few steps or walking across the room became harder and harder as the years went by. But she was beating the odds the doctor had given her!

As time went on, we began to notice her hands trembling. She had trouble spilling things and knocking dishes together. In 2006, she was diagnosed officially with Parkinson’s Disease. Once again, she was only given about 2 more years to live.

Her health continued deteriorating from there. Several times she ended up in the hospital due to breathing complications or after a tough fall. There were many times when I thought we were going to lose her. But each time, she rallied and got well enough to leave rehab and go back home.

We visited Grandma and Grandpa in March, just before Easter. I distinctly remember standing out in their garage and thinking “I wonder if this is the last time we’ll have a normal visit here at Grandma and Grandpa’s house.”

On April 13—the day before we left on our cruise—she went into the hospital again. I think she might have fallen and they were concerned that she may have broken a hip. Following that hospital stay, she went into the skilled care section of a nursing home just a few miles from their house. She never went home after that. My uncle who is a physician had warned us of that.

When we went to visit her for Mother’s day, we honestly didn’t think she’d make it through the end of the year. She didn’t remember some of us, and her medicines were very imbalanced which caused her to have bad stomach problems and issues with slurring her speech. But once again, she rallied and surprised us in the summertime by how well she was doing, relative to all that happened. By then we knew that she would never come home, but we hoped that maybe we could move her to a nursing home in Texas or Florida so she could be near family.

At Christmas, we were very thankful that she was still with us. She was doing relatively well relative to earlier in the year. She spoke clearly, remembered who we all were (most of the time) and wasn’t having trouble with her stomach. Reflecting back, that time was such a blessing to our family. I am so thankful that she was doing well for her very last Christmas here on earth.

The week before Grandpa died, Grandma went into ICU because of a breathing/panic attack. Following that episode, she never stood up on her own again. She needed two orderlies to lift her up and she was always in her wheelchair.

Although she was pretty stoic about Grandpa’s death, we could tell that she was still grieving inside. She had an empty look in her eyes. What we didn’t imagine was that we would never see her again, following that visit.

The week of her death, Dad and his sister had been doing serious research into nursing homes in Florida and Texas. We hated the idea of Grandma being all by herself up in Pennsylvania. They had found a home in Texas that had openings in their skilled care unit, and they were preparing to ask Grandma if she would be willing to move.

~Friday, February 8~

Today Mom and I went out to run a few errands, just the two of us. I talked with her in the car a little bit about Grandma’s situation. I confided that I honestly didn’t believe she would live much longer. I hadn’t said anything to the rest of the family because I didn’t want to discourage them, but when we saw her in January, I had a feeling that she wouldn’t be around when we were planning to visit her in March. Dad thought she would live another 6 months at least. I honestly didn’t think she would survive a move, nor want to move. Even if she did move to Texas, I was pretty sure we would have to turn around and head back to Pennsylvania for her funeral.

Just that week, the nursing home had started to give Grandma pureed foods because she couldn’t swallow properly (one of the final stages of Parkinsons.) She had also been drinking thickened liquids since her stay in ICU.

That same day, Dad went into his boss’ office and told him that he thought we’d be making another trip to Pennsylvania this year to do a funeral for my Grandma.

That evening, I tucked myself in under my layers of blankets 15 minutes before my bedtime. I had woken up tired that morning, and was exhausted by the end of the day. I was really looking forward to a good night’s sleep.

Just after 11:00 p.m., the phone rings. At that hour, I know it can’t be good news, especially since all our family and most of our friends live in the Eastern Time Zone where it was already midnight. I quickly text Dad downstairs: “I’m never going to be able to sleep wondering who called at this hour? ~ Bianca”

Mom came up to my room, and as soon as she turned the lamp on and I saw her face, I knew what had happened. When she told me that Grandma had died, my first reaction was just shock. After she left the room, I burst into tears. I just couldn’t believe this was happening all over again. I was hurt and angry. Why did God allow us to lose you and Grandpa just three weeks apart? Didn’t He know that my shattered heart still hadn’t healed from losing Grandpa? Why didn’t He allow us to have time to say goodbye, to be by your side when you passed? How could He take you away from me?

I finally realized I wasn’t going to be able to sleep, so I went downstairs to Mom and Dad’s room. Dad was still on the phone. Mom told me that one of the nurses had gone to check on Grandma just before midnight and found her not breathing. She had a no-resuscitation order, so she was gone.

We were very grateful that all evidence pointed to a peaceful death. There are many painful ways to die of Parkinson’s…we were glad that she didn’t suffer any of those.

I went back upstairs to try to sleep again, but got up when Mom went into the office to scan a picture to send to my Aunt. I offered to do it since I couldn’t sleep anyway. I stayed up until about 2:00 a.m. working on a picture slideshow for the funeral.

~Saturday, February 9~

Daddy woke me up around 8:00 a.m. this morning and we all gathered in the boys’ room where Mom and Dad broke the news to the other kids. I think they were sad, but had known it was coming eventually. We quickly began packing while Dad looked up flights and made reservations.

~Sunday, February 10~

I woke up around 5:00 a.m. this morning to get ready. We packed up our things in the minivan and left the house around 6:00 a.m. to head for the airport. After re-routing a couple times around the airport, we finally found the parking lot. We caught the shuttle,  checked in, and went through security.

That’s when the problems began. Our flight was supposed to leave around 9:00 a.m. We boarded the plane, pushed back, and watched the flight attendants perform the safety demo. But then we stopped and pulled back in. The Captain announced that there was a problem with one of the indicators and they had a mechanic coming out to fix it.

We waited on the plane for about 45 minutes. The Captain came back on and said that it would be awhile before they had the plane fixed, so we were instructed to gather our luggage, go get something to eat in the airport, and return to the terminal in about 45 minutes.

So we went and got some bagels while we sat and waited for the plane to be fixed.

Photo Credit: Roma.

 After another hour of waiting, they finally announced that our plane was headed for the hanger and they were looking for a new plane. I was very thankful that we had a direct flight. Otherwise we would have surely missed our connection.

Another 45 minutes to an hour later, they announced our new gate. We gathered all our things, arrived at the new terminal, and waited another ½-hour to board that plane. Once we were on the plane, we waited extra long to take off because they needed to stock the plane. We FINALLY took off around 12:30 p.m., 3 ½ hours late.

We made it to the airport in Ohio and picked up our rental car to drive over to Pennsylvania. We stopped along the way to get a snack, and arrived at Grandma and Grandpa’s house in PA after 7:00 p.m. It had been a long and exhausting day, so we were grateful to have finally arrived.

Despite the circumstances, it was good to have brief moments of comic relief. Josiah borrowed our cousin’s aviator sunglasses and struck this pose. Too bad he doesn’t know about the bunny ears Aunt Debbie is giving him. J

To be continued . . .

A Bit of Catch-Up

Before I launch into all the posts needed to sum up what transpired following my Grandma’s death, I wanted to do a quick catch-up post on what happened at home between Grandpa’s death and Grandma’s death, just 3 short weeks apart.

Our family celebrated the Superbowl once again. We weren’t sure if we were going to celebrate or not for two reasons. 1.) We only received 1 TV channel with our antenna, and 2.) I was in Houston that weekend and couldn’t help with the cooking. But we caved for the first time in 6 years and purchased Dish TV and the twins and Ben helped Mom do the cooking.

We had BBQ chicken wings, pepperoni bread, stuffed meatloaf balls, bacon cheese puffs, baked potato spears with all the toppings, chips with salsa, veggies with dip, apple slices with honey peanut butter dip, grapes, and Coca-Cola cake.

Although we didn’t really care for either team playing (the Baltimore Ravens and the San Francisco 49’ers) we rooted for the 49’ers. The game ended up being very close with the 49’ers rallying from being down by 22 points to nearly winning the game.

The next day, our family hosted Life Group at our house (instead of adult Sunday Schools, our church has small Bible Studies that meet during the week in people’s homes.) We had a make-your-own-burrito dinner along with fruits and veggies, popcorn, Coca-Cola cake, and peanut butter cookies.

Photo Credit: Roma.

Josiah doesn’t normally come to Life Group, but the other kids *loved* playing with him this time. He nearly had a heart-attack when they mobbed him. J

Photo Credit: Roma.

While the adults had their study downstairs, we watched the kids upstairs in the twins’ bedroom. It was challenging to keep 6 kids ages 5 and under quiet, and also keep them from leaving the room and going downstairs. It was a bit chaotic, but I was thankful to have all my other siblings to help keep everyone entertained.

Photo Credit: Roma.

They really loved Josiah’s race car track. There was some bickering that needed to be broken up regarding whose turn it was to race their car, but most of them sat and played with it for a long time.

Photo Credit: Roma.

The kids really loved having Ben there to play with them (he normally stays at home with Josiah during Life Group.) They all seem to like him a lot!

All-in-all the night went very well, and we had a lot of fun hosting it!

Gone 2

Dear blog readers,

Friday night just before 12:00 a.m. my beloved Grandma passed away. There are so many details swirling in our heads as her death was quite a shock even though she has been very sick for many years. We never would have expected to lose both Grandparents only 3 weeks apart.

Due to all of this we will be taking yet another hiatus from blogging for a couple of weeks. Whenever you check the blog (or would normally check the blog) please take a moment to pray for our family. Pray for peace, wisdom, and comfort in our grief as we go through this all over again. Thank you.

~Bianca for the family

Recipe--Coca-Cola Cake

This recipe was found in our “5 Ingredients or Less” cookbook, and has been a favorite ever since! We had this cake as part of our Superbowl celebration this year (more on that next week) and it’s also a favorite Friday night dessert following our pizza and movie.

Coca-Cola Cake

One. pkg. chocolate cake mix

One 3-1/2 oz. pkg. instant chocolate pudding mix

¾ cup oil

10-oz. of Coca Cola

16-oz. container of chocolate frosting

Stir first 4 ingredients together. Pour into a lightly greased 13”x9” baking pan. Bake at 350° degrees for 40 minutes. Cool; frost. Makes 15 to 18 servings. (Note: Slices better the next day—but don’t let that stop you! J)

My Grandpa

~Posted by Bianca (Tribute written to share at the funeral)

Dear Grandpa:

At a time like this there can be so much to say, and so little to say. It hasn’t sunk in that you’re really gone and I’m not sure when it will. There have been so many thoughts and emotions swirling around in me over the past several days.

Some of the thoughts going through my mind have been the things you won’t be around for. That has probably been the hardest thing to think about. You won’t be here for my high school graduation this May. You won’t be able to hear about my month-long stay in Haiti this summer. I won’t have the pleasure of introducing you to my future spouse one day, and telling him that he has to compete with the character of my amazing Grandpa. J You won’t have the pleasure of meeting your first great-grandchild. I won’t be able to warm your coffee, weed in your garden, sit by your side and look at old photos, or wheel you through the nursing home to visit Grandma.

While you will not be here for all of this, there has been so much that you have been present for. You have left such an incredible legacy for your children and grandchildren. I have never known a more patient man in my life. In my 17 years of life, I only heard you raise your voice once. That time was pretty well justified; the child hurling Tinker-toys across the basement really needed to stop! J Whenever you prayed, you always found something to be thankful for no matter what kind of day you were having. And you prayed for us even when you could barely catch your breath. I will always remember your smiles and the way you liked to tease us kids from time to time. I’ll never forget the double hugs I’d give you whenever we said goodbye. One just wasn’t enough!

I don’t think I’ll ever find someone who can make fudge quite like yours. You always had a knack for giving us kids gifts that were really meaningful. You often sent us home with little sentimental items like old pictures, articles that belonged to you and your parents, your old tripod, and other gifts that will always be treasured by us. You were such a fine example of a southern gentleman. You have left an incredible legacy for your family.

Although the weight of losing you is crushing at times, I am reminded that you are oblivious to sorrows and pain now. You can sing at the top of your lungs with the heavenly choir. You can walk and run as you never have before. You can fill your lungs with the pure air of heaven. I believe your skills as an artist and a craftsman will make you appreciate the beauty of heaven all the more. You will never have to say another goodbye, never have to catch your breath, and never shed a tear that won’t be wiped away by the Savior you spent your life serving.

With this I must say goodbye to you, my dear Grandpa. There will be times of tears and sorrows, so please don’t be mad if I cry. I’ve never had the opportunity to live close to you, so please save a place for me right next to yours. I know we will meet again someday soon. I can’t wait to be with you there.

Love Your Granddaughter,

Bianca