Today Dad was gone most of the day running
around town getting things taken care of to make sure that all the bills get
paid on time, certain services were stopped, etc. The rest of us stayed at home
and rested after all the activity. We started to clean things up a bit, as the
house had gotten a little chaotic with all the funeral prep, searching for
documents, shredding documents, pulling out clothes, going through pictures,
and more. We tried to finish up laundry and prepare to leave early the next
morning.
That evening we went to the nursing home to
visit Grandma one last time. It’s difficult leaving her after such a huge
change. The thought of her being apart from family is heart-breaking, but we’re
kind of stuck. Her health is too frail for her to travel and live closer to one
of her kids, and the kids have jobs in other states they have to tend to. Dad
and Aunt Debbie plan to fly up once a month to visit Grandma and continue going
through the things at the house.
When we arrived, we chatted for quite awhile
with the security officer at the front desk. He’s been working there almost every
time we’ve come to visit since Grandma moved there in April, so we’ve gotten to
know him a little better along with some of the orderlies. After chatting about
our travel plans, we went back to the dining hall to see Grandma.
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We
helped her cut things up on her plate and made sure that she ate a reasonable
amount of food.
Photo
Credit: Roma.
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Some
of the pictures we had put up in her display box had fallen down because the
tape wasn’t holding it up enough. So we put a few thumb-tacks in before we
left.
Photo
Credit: Roma.
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~Thursday,
January 24~
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The
next morning we left a little later than we had intended (around 8:30 a.m.) It
took us a long time to go through the house and make sure we left everything
neat and picked up since there’s no one there to do that anymore. I had to snap
an Instagram picture of the birdfeeder. That’s how much snow we had received!
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Before we left we gathered around to pray in
the dining room. That choked some of us up, because Grandpa always prayed for
us before we left. The most difficult part was driving down his street. Several
of us started crying because of the memories. He would always come out to the
garage and wave at us as we drove away. Dad tooted the horn, even though there
was no Grandpa waving at us.
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The
sun started to peek out as we drove. It was a beautiful reminder that God is
always with us.
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That afternoon we made a special stop for
lunch. When Mom and Dad were first married, they lived in southern Ohio. They
often reminisced about a dairy they used to visit when they lived there. We had
talked about stopping and eating there when we would travel through that town,
but somehow we never drove through during mealtime. But since we had left late
that day, we rolled into town right around lunch time.
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The
food at the dairy was delicious! Several of us enjoyed cheeseburgers. I decided
to try their specialty item: fried cheese curds. While I’m sure they weren’t
the healthiest choice, they were definitely good. And after all, if you’ve
waited for years to go to a specific restaurant, you HAVE to try their
signature item, right? Right!
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And
of course if you go to a dairy, you have to have ice cream. J
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Happy
cows.
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We arrived at our hotel that night pretty
late because we stopped at Panera bread for dinner. When we had been going
through Grandpa’s personal effects, we found a stack of gift cards that we had
given Grandpa, that he had never used (we gave him gift cards on special occasions
so that he could go out to eat and not have to cook as much.) Apparently his
favorite restaurant was the local restaurant that we couldn’t get gift cards for,
so he never used these. So we used some of them when we stopped to eat.
~Friday,
January 25~
The next morning we left earlier after eating
breakfast at the hotel. I was so tired after getting up early so many times,
that as soon as we got in the car, I conked out. Normally I’m half-awake when I
snooze, but I was REALLY asleep.
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I
was sleeping so soundly that I missed the arch in St. Louis. Oh well. J
Photo
Credit: Roma.
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We stopped at an Applebee’s for lunch. Normally we wouldn’t
go to a sit-down restaurant when we’re traveling, but since we had gift cards
we decided to go there. Despite the cold temps, Roma and I tried their frozen strawberry
lemonade. Definitely recommend it!
Photo Credit: Roma.
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The
twins enjoying their lunch.
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Unfortunately that stop delayed us by a
couple of hours. We didn’t make it home until REALLY late that night. Thankfully
it was a Friday, so we slept in the next morning.
I have a habit of listening to a song on my
iPod just before I go to bed. That night I listened to “Save a Place for Me” by
Matthew West. I broke down again, partly because of the grief and partly as a
release of all the stress that had been present throughout the prior two weeks.
Grandpa’s absence will mean a lot of adjustments. It hit me that I’ll never
hear his voice on the other end of the phone on my birthday. I miss him so
much.
~Saturday,
January 26~
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The
next morning we were pleasantly surprised to receive a bouquet of flowers from
friends. Our mailbox was flooded with sympathy cards and several neighbors
brought food over for our family.
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The
neighbor that watched our cats brought over lunch that day, which was
completely unexpected since she had already done so much for us. She and her
90-year-old mother brought over a delicious taco salad, fried chicken, fried
okra, and peach cobbler. Now that’s true southern comfort food!
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~Epilogue~
While we are slowly transitioning back into a
new normal, there is still an emptiness in our hearts. The full realization
that Grandpa is gone will sink in slowly over time. There will be distinct
moments when his absence will hit hard. My Dad will be reminded every Sunday.
He talked with Grandpa on the phone every Sunday night for as long as I can
remember. Mom won’t be able to fix coffee for her “Father-in-love.” I won’t get
to cuddle up next to him on the couch as we lament how cold we always are. Ben
will not be able to call Grandpa on Veteran’s day, as he always did. Rubia and
Roma won’t be able to write him letters. Josiah won’t be able to ask Grandpa
questions about guns and his time in Korea.
We’re all going to miss him, and the grieving
process will take a long time. But we grieve with hope. We trust that our God
is faithful and that He keeps all His promises. He will keep the promise He
made in John
14:2, “In my Father’s house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have
told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you.” He will keep the promise He made in 2 Corinthians 1:3-4, “Praise
be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and
the God of all comfort, who comforts us
in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the
comfort we ourselves have received from God.”
We
want to thank all of you for your notes, cards, emails, comments, flowers,
meals, prayers, and support. They mean so much to us. We are incredibly blessed
by God!
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