When I taught at Bright Lights last month, my lesson was inspired by the book “It’s (Not That) Complicated” by Anna Sofia and Elizabeth Botkin. I had the opportunity to meet Anna Sofia and Elizabeth last year, and was very excited when their new book came out last fall. I received the book for Christmas, and started reading it earlier this year.
The book is geared towards young, unmarried ladies and deals with how to relate to young men in a healthy, sane, and Biblical way. Many Christian young ladies are confused about their friendships with unmarried boys. Boy-Girl relationships have become very complicated over the past several decades, and there are lots of questions that girls have about what scripture says about these relationships. How close is too close in a relationship? How do we handle crushes? What does it mean to treat “younger men as brothers, in all purity?”
The book discusses these problems and the solutions from all angles. It talks about what makes guy-girl relationships complicated, about learning to see men as God sees them, having proper relationships with our brothers, getting our hearts in the right place, practical tips on interaction and conversation, and lots more!
This book really caused me to evaluate my relationships with men, including my father, brothers, and young men outside my family. It inspired me to think about the following questions:
*What is my attitude towards other young men? Do I desire to flirt with and gain attention from them? Or do I have a desire to build them up, help them, and encourage them?*
*Is my relationship with my brothers what it should be? Am I demonstrating respect towards them? Am I helping prepare them for their future marriages? Or am I living selfishly and ignoring them?* (You can read a longer post on this topic here.)
*Am I allowing my emotions to drive my relationships, or am I leading my heart in the direction God wants me to?*
*Am I truly content being single? Do I view this as a (hopefully) short period of waiting before marriage someday? Or am I reclaiming the time to serve the Lord and others?*
*What do my actions, words, and conduct around young men say about me? Do they say that I’m fishing for compliments or attention, or striving to have edifying conversations and interactions with them?*
*Am I encouraging or meddling in other people’s romantic affairs?*
*Am I striving to become a girl that a godly young man would want to marry? Am I striving to grow in my character and relationship with God during my single years?*
This book really provoked a lot of thoughts, and convicted me in many areas that I need to work on. It is a book that I would definitely recommend for young ladies, especially those who are asking these same questions!
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